Cool Kids

I have the unfortunate pleasure of working with kids.

Normally I enjoy my job. As much as one can enjoy a job with whiny, emotional little humans. As there is a first for everything, I had my first gut punch from a 6 year old. Now this is not my first encounter with an unruly child. I have dealt with screaming, arms and legs flailing everywhere fits and fights. I have even had a kid punch me before, just not out of anger and with the intent on hurting me.

I honestly have no idea why anyone in any profession where they are with more than one kid for more than one hour still decide to reproduce. Though I will admit it’s not all terrible. Just mostly. My job that is, I have no experience in producing offspring.

I feel that I should note, to put those who are concerned for today’s youth at ease, that I’m not this cynical when I’m at work. Usually.

#Rantsfordays

Adulthood

Finally the day has come, I am a real adult…? And no I’m not talking about turning 18, been there done that. Plus it’s just a really old teenager. I’m not sure anyone at that age should make real adult decisions, whatever those are… 

I have finally graduated from college. I am a graduate. And yet I don’t really feel qualified to type that sentence. It honestly feels like a waste. A waste of a good education on me. Someone who has no idea what to do or where to go. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a lot of fun having no direction and everyone asking what I’m doing with life now and my plans for the future. It does get difficult to keep up the look of interest in conversations when people feel the need to give me their opinions and advice. All while asking millions of questions of what my interests are. I know, I know I’m not the only grad in this position and while that is comforting to know, it’s still frustrating. Especially those who reassure me that everthing is going to work out. I know. That’s my problem. I’m not at all worried and a lot less concerned than I should be. Is it really all that terrible to work minimum wage for the rest of my life? Because right now, it doesn’t seem so bad. Also can I just put it out there that college is terrible? You attend it for 4 years (average student with minimal workload or double major, I chose the former), becoming attached and happy with all your friends, and then you are forced to leave. Usually because of a lack of money and student loan debt already being too high. Anyway, you make a new home for yourself and create friendships with people you’ve spent more time with than most people in your family. Just to have it ripped away from you when you graduate. Which is supposed to be a happy occasion and a great accomplishment. Not only that, but I do not feel prepared for the real world at all, definitely not a real job. I’m sure it’s just one of many of life’s lessons to be learned here blah blah blah… Really I just wanted to complain, because if we’re honest with ourselves that’s all we ever want in this life. That and food. And sleep, especially day sleep. And to binge watch Netflix.

Dude, Where’s My Orange?

A couple months ago I went grocery shopping and bought two oranges, as well as other things of course. I know, this is already a top notch story, but I’m going to continue anyway. Well after the store I came home bringing all my groceries with me, including the two oranges. A few hours after putting everything in its place I went to the kitchen to get one of the oranges. Upon arriving at my destination I notice something was wrong… There was only one orange. I looked all around and on the ground and seriously questioned whether I actually bought two oranges or just one. I went as far as checking the receipt to make sure. I had in fact purchased two. I only noticed one of my housemates enter the kitchen during those few hours and I don’t recall her ever peeling or eating an orange… Now I know you’re wondering why the oranges are so important and why after two months I haven’t let it go… Days before I bought the oranges, I witnessed someone devouring an orange and I wanted one ever since. As for why I can’t seem to let it go, one of my housemates recently bought oranges and it reminded me about it. It brings up all these unanswered questions. Kind of like that Inception movie but worse because no one smarter than me watched the events from the TV and is therefore able to tell me exactly what happened to my orange.

It’s Been Ages

So it’s been forever and a half since posting anything on the blogasphere. There was nothing worthy to report for the summer months. I basically worked and napped and snacked and repeat. However my only excuse for not writing for an entire semester is pure forgetfulness and laziness. Which is a deadly combination and should be taken with caution. Though if I’m going to be completely honest not much happened this semester. It was kind of a let down now that I think about it. How is it that every semester I tend to hang out with less and less people? My friends must be scaring them away… Or they are dealing with their own busy lives, leaving lowlife people like me who have no idea what to do alone and sad. It’s safe to say I am not any closer to figuring out my life and so much closer to having to have known yesterday. I’ve recently gotten a fortune cookie that told me I would travel to exotic places. So look out world I coming. I think my first stop will be moving into a different room back home? Because it’s looking like that’s as exotic as my life will be with my high paying job of being unemployed.

On a more positive note, I have found a new best friend that goes by the name Whipped Cream Vodka. She has yet to steer me wrong. She’s sneaky sweet and has made some of the worst days turn into not so bad days and just overall rounds out the group dynamic. We all love and adore her. Most days she would most definitely rank higher than Coffee, but please don’t tell Coffee I can’t afford to lose anyone else right now. In all seriousness, it is the most exciting thing that has happened to me and my friends this semester. You can put it in almost everything and it’s wonderfully dangerous. We are sad and easily amused people.

I did take a PE class this semester, tennis, where I learned that after weeks of attending I still know nothing about tennis. Crazy similar to all the other classes I take. Christmas is a much needed break… from all the DVDs I’ve had to watch from lack of cable and convenient access to Netflix (possibly a reason for not ever knowing what’s going on in class?). I finally have all the hours to devote to mindless TV and everything in my Netflix list and more. I’ve been waiting months for the friendless distractions and absolutely nothing else to do to catch up on all the shows and movies my eyes can possibly take. I’m hoping to reach a new record of 300 hrs this break. That’s 12 hrs for every day I will be home, for those of you who like the mathematical breakdown.

I will try my hardest to do better about sharing the fantastical stories that are my life. However present me will apologize now for future me not doing that.

How to [awkwardly] Meet Your Husband

I may think this is the greatest thing ever, and wish to someday have something similar take place in my own life…

#annoyed

Not annoyed at hashtags, I don’t think I could ever be. I love them in a way that they are so ridiculous you can’t not love them.

On to my annoyance… So many things (people) have been driving me crazy. Is a big part of it my fault for my lack of sleep and terrible habits of overcompensating with coffee? Yes, but that doesn’t give people the right to be so annoying (even if it is magnified because I’m at a low point in my life). Who’s to say they aren’t actually any less annoying than before, and I was just able to tolerate it better and not say some things as openly as I would have with adequate rest? I think some people underestimate how nice I can be, and overestimate how great they really are. Now am I possibly, currently running on coffee for substituting sleep for less important things… Yes, yes I am.  When else is a better time to rant than when you’re a little delusional? #Never.

However, I don’t think I’m completely wrong with people thinking they’re greater than they should. I know I’ve caught myself doing it a time or two, or always. I’m not saying I’m not great or others aren’t either, but sometimes I think when we’re around people who like us and accept us we start thinking we can do no wrong. A thought I can for sure see some of my friends thinking, “now they’re great (talking about other friends), but I’m pretty fantastically awesome. Like, I would definitely be friends with me.” My annoyance probably wouldn’t be so high if they did it in a sarcastically, somewhat truthful, but more obviously sarcastic way like I do, but they don’t. They do it in a way that’s like, “Not to sound full of myself, but…” Well, I’m not sorry to say, when you do it often and about how cool and great you always are, you are being full of yourself. Just own up to it. I already know how cool and great you are or else we wouldn’t be friends. That doesn’t mean you’re the greatest person in the world, and when you talk about it, it just makes me think you’re not as awesome as I thought you were. Now if it was done in a way which I respect, meaning you’re into yourself and not afraid to show it, then maybe. Even then it can go too far. Humble brags aren’t humble when you use them constantly…

Life is over and won’t be back for one whole year

Just to let everyone know, it is definitely my hair. That’s how I made it here. It was confirmed to me by an adorable old man, and I’m making sure everyone I know, knows that I deserve a medal for it.

The only truly exciting thing that takes place at this school that exudes with excitement, is over. Oh Sing Song… My life is forever lost without you… People actually talk about it year round, come back after graduation to watch, and are way too emotionally involved. My concern for these people grow every year, for every year their obsession is intensified. They talk about it always, perfecting their arguments about who should have actually won or placed or something else that is clearly significant. And when you think they are done and  over it, they start talking about next year. Though I can’t blame them for all of this, it is not their fault. It is the only thing our school does that is actually fun and that anyone can participate in. Sad? Yes, but true. It is made up of a series of acts and performances that are practiced for 4-5 weeks all for one weekend and then it’s over. There is no longer a reason to get up in the morning, get through the day, or to even live. I honestly wonder how some of my fellow classmates will cope with the fact that they can no longer be a part of Sing Song once they graduate. There’s an elite group who’ll manage to move on just fine, and I hope to be a member. Even though my heart will be breaking, I can’t say I’ll miss that signature “Sing Song face”. More often than not, it was creepy, always creepy. I’m not sure who decided wearing acrylic paint to look like rosy cheeks and scary long eyelashes was a good idea. It’s not.

Exciting, I know.

In movies the typical college student ponders life, the big questions of what’s next and the struggles that go along with it. Yet their life plays out in a witty and funny, sometimes serious, manner and usually ends happily ever after… Well I can say with complete confidence my life is exactly like that. Some definite movie gold, that’s only if you’re watching always. To others, my life is nothing more than a sitcom, but everyone’s a critic. The adventures my friends and I share hanging out at convenience stores and a college campus of which we don’t attend, is worthy of a movie deal I’m sure of it. The only ones I’m convinced would beat us out would be those mischievous middle school kids hanging out at the mall all day. However, they have years of watching Disney Channel to reach our level of cool.

On a more serious note, I attend Abilene Christian University, the one with all the cool, hip people who dress super nice and have good hair. I believe I have good hair and that’s the reason for my acceptance. Being of legal drinking age (this usually doesn’t matter…), you either party like there’s no tomorrow or not at all, either way someone thinks you’re wrong. Highly opinionated and judgmental people roam the campus, because this is their homeland and they were just lost before. They talk about not judging and treating others with love in the classroom and at bible studies, where all of it is left. Now that was a little harsh, my apologies. I would say only about 50% would fall into this category 3-7 days a week, the rest are probably actually real nice people. I… would most likely be in that 50%, for my sometimes blunt opinions, but is that so wrong? Yes, yes it probably is.